I love you and you are special.
We are blessed to have you in our family.
Why can’t you be more like you brother or sister?
That’s not your best effort is it?
You will never amount to anything!
I had a professor in grad school that said “superman had kryptonite and we all have families.” The reminder being; most of us arrive into adulthood with some wounds and baggage from our families. Let me be quick to say, we can also arrive with rich heritage and a wealth of positive things as well. Many of the wounds we carry came absent of malicious intent. This realization can be a significant contributor to the content of our playlist. If we realize that our families probably did not intend to hurt us, it is much easier to find healing for our wounds. How are you doing in that arena? Were things done or said that are products or your parents own wounds or blind spots? If so, offer forgiveness and consideration for humanities flaws and take the next step in your journey.
I can imagine that some readers might be thinking “ you don’t know my parents, they were mean and nasty on purpose!” You are right, I don’t know that hurt. My own parents were rarely malicious and never intentionally hurtful. To be healthy mentally and spiritually we must go down the same road of forgiveness regardless of the motives or intent of those who perpetrated hurt on us. Now, I am not suggesting “just forgive and forget” That is unwise and not healthy. Forgiving lets go of the need for retribution, it releases us from the stronghold of bitterness. We do well however to maintain healthy boundaries with those who hurt us until such time as we believe they are no longer interested in hurting us again. More to follow in the next article…..